Exchange

by Emily Bezar

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1.
traces of love in here....bring up the lights forage, I will forage for the leftover nights brains are wretched things, do you agree? boring, was I boring? or was I over the top too carefully? I am beginning to enjoy this burn the world won’t stop spinning through Saturn’s return so kiss me, then let me go drain me and be gone I’ll wait here for the moment that the moonlight says carry on I am beginning to enjoy this burn the world won’t stop spinning through Saturn’s return and all through the moments we live and we learn I go on I go on away dear you and I know it’s over it was that day she will not ever love you again that way yeah and I know it’s sad but what could we do? we met something much bigger than me and you so I’ll stick around here for a little while to cut and run is not my style and all those changes he put me through just batting cages for me and you for me and you all of the rumors about me were true but I thought that you had your own secrets too all of the reasons we do what we do are so much bigger they’re so much bigger than me than me all my life oh all my life all my love oh oh oh...
2.
broom on fire quite a way from the flares of the Jenny Janes to which you aspired purple and green: everything came alive for the synesthete in her red machine brain and spleen there is a line in the body that separates the grit from the clean trinity: that was the name of the man who came to blur that line for me and the room was ready for me I did grow my own that day can the light of God restore me? I’ll do almost anything they say shame on me I never thought I’d be caught at the very game that you taught for free you said, “wait and see,” but by the time you were ready I’d been shipped to the factory and the room was ready for me I did grow my own that day can the light of God restore me? I’ll do almost anything they say oh I’m going….I’m finally on my way! I want to know all worth knowing before they blow this world away oh the monsters are gone and I know this house is safe for me again oh life is not long so will you come and save me again? will you come and save me again? I’ll do anything I’ll do anything I’ll do anything anything anything anything anything
3.
Lament 06:01
if I tried to be the one again who took you far and took you wide would you stay? or would you walk out that door and down the street never look back this way ageless and so young and overflowing I was once my weight in gold how sad to be over him was I more than he could hold? and all of the things we say all of the things we do come back to us in oh so many ways and oh in time oh we will come down the icy mountain range to the green valley wide ageless and so young and overflowing I was once my weight in gold how sad to be over him was I more than he could hold? crazy man you did not know what you had in your little hands oh oh oh I am sorry is the only thing left to say I am sorry is the only thing left to say
4.
seasons slow like the last roll of a rollercoaster and summer dies and the grass stains are washed and gone lovers show their true colors in a Fall enchantment and you, how could I know you’d be there in black and white for me? I left something top the Matterhorn for you won’t you climb and find out what the glacier always knew? you’ll need more than just that little ice-pick to get through so take that dynamite and let the avalanche take that dynamite and let the avalanche carry you carry you carry you traders know about the ratio of the good to bad ones they steal, they stow then they sneak back to their little holes I left something top the Matterhorn for you won’t you climb and find out what the glacier always knew? you’ll need more than just that little ice-pick to get through so take that dynamite and let the avalanche take that dynamite and let the avalanche carry you carry you carry you I’d rather be with you in the middle of Spain I’d rather be with you in the very slow lane jaded, yes, but enough light here to bring the morning and you, my guest, please bring your dark ink to our afternoon I left something top the Matterhorn for you won’t you climb and find out what the glacier always knew? you’ll need more than just that little ice-pick to get through so take that dynamite and let the avalanche take that dynamite and let the avalanche carry you carry you carry you
5.
Heavy Air 07:33
blue sky in the morning went grey the afternoon he came without warning, but he was gone so soon they said to be careful, that zing’s the zing of doom but how was I to avoid it when it filled the room? all the feathers in this heavy air now float around the border of my bloody moon someone teach me how to never care again if he hates this tune brave misunderstandings and loose little rules the scars and the brandings we parade like jewels but I still believe in the brute force of love it storms, does not seep in, it will break, burn and shove all the feathers in this heavy air now float around the border of my bloody moon someone teach me how to never care again if he hates this tune I am falling through the sky baby galleons pass me by all hands on deck! hoist the merry sails! aren’t we ready yet? anchors aweigh anchors aweigh anchors aweigh anchors awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! blocked and obstructed, still caught in the door but I see the end of the hallway and it’s worth fighting for all the feathers in this heavy air now float around the border of my bloody moon someone teach me how to never care again if he hates this tune
6.
Strange Man 09:55
strange man, strange man crying in your sleep I wish I could wake you and bring you back from the deep do you love me? do you love me? or are we just marking time? won’t you send a sign to show it’s not just in my mind? strange man, in the morning when I go down to the sea I scan the horizon where your submarine it waits for me do you love me? do you love me? or are we just marking time? won’t you send a sign to show it’s not just in my mind? sink somewhere, where I can see you oh the water here’s so clear hurry up, unplug the drain and let’s get outta here where do the four-handers go when they break outta break outta break outta line? and for all I know you are already mine oh it’s a long and lonely road then we run outta run outta run outta time but baby I can show you how to make this ending sublime strange man now you’re airborne ride on through your clouds some day I will hear you again between my softs and your louds
7.
why did I say “no, I will not go again… no I will not go again” ? guess I wanted to stay safe in my big mind ‘til then safe in my big mind ‘til then send me down there, to the win I’m so ready to begin grab it today feel the life you never felt feel the life you never felt forfeit or play but face the hand that you were dealt face the hand that you were dealt send me down there, to the win I’m so ready to begin hold that bright light deep in your eyes radiate and burn to the sky to the sky to the sky when I’m walking in shadows running too slow I want this one moment to be all I know the soul mansions that we give away may all burn down any day if I could change one thing if I could let go I’d release me from this carnival show so roll me over on the breaking day is it glory or crazy anyway? is it glory or crazy glory or crazy glory or crazy? hand me my sword I’ll go back into battle hand me my sword I’ll go back into battle to battle to battle to battle send me down there, to the win I’m so ready to begin
8.
Climb 07:50
rack and pinion hesitations, borderline incriminations throw me anesthetic and I’ll breathe again like a wayward tire in the road I rolled right down and knocked him cold now he has awoken and put me on hold what you savin’ it for? I am not a delusion, you could be mine the day you walk through my door heaven and earth, baby they will align I have been so broken and blind right about now is right about time right about now the ladder works fine later on you, you better know how to climb spic or span, used or new, spin me ‘round, run me through I could really use a few of those light light rays proselytize, pontificate, adamantly stipulate that you’ll give me the key to crash those pearly gates what you savin’ it for? I am not a delusion, you could be mine the day you walk through my door heaven and earth, baby they will align I have been so broken and blind right about now is right about time right about now the ladder works fine later on you, you better know how to climb I can blow your little mind, blow it right away you are one of my kind, knew it from that day you will fade out in time, this I know is true but now while she’s still standing by, oh what can I do? I am changed by the birds, watching them so free in flight I imagined that’s how you would love me now I look beyond the sky, I’ll see you in that cosmic eye I’ll dream you in jeweled vistas high above me what you savin’ it for? are you just a delusion…all in my mind? is heaven more more than we two deserve to find? crazy like me, crazy like you, crazy in rhyme everything old will become new…baby in time climb, why don’t you climb? climb, why don’t you climb? yeah yeah yeah I have been so broken and blind right about now is right about time later on you you better know how to climb
9.
Winter Moon 11:15
a February day your shadow long in Aberdeen I thought you’d gone to stay and the world made me love only you I wanted to save me but what could I do? Paris all in white the snow, light on the steeple’s edge and then the rocket fell how the light changed there over the hill barium rainbow, lydian thrill though it’s cold in the middle of your St. Germain I know there’s love flowing through those brittle veins though the sun above me never shines through every winter moon is you I heard it on the plane they had closed the roads again I thought I saw your train pass through the forest down towards the sea away from the mess I’d just made of me though it’s cold in the middle of your St. Germain I know there’s love flowing through those brittle veins though the sun above me never shines through every winter moon is you oh enslave me let’s find some room on the other side oh fantastic voyage with you again cross the line, scale the fence lose all of your common sense I only want your present tense hear me Lord, I’m free! I have been to bedlam and I found a part of me now the light changes over the hill barium rainbow, lydian thrill though it’s cold in the middle of your St. Germain I know there’s love flowing through those brittle veins though the sun above me never shines through every winter moon is you every winter moon every winter moon
10.
Exchange 04:56
make of my heart silver, not grey hold me again like you did that day so as the flower leans towards the sun I’ll always remember you on the run all over now and oh the sky takes on a violet hue I saw so much more in his eyes than he ever knew some things they won’t ever come clear so hold on to only what holds you dear don’t wait for him to come back in range save some of you for the great exchange all over now and oh the sky takes on a violet hue I saw so much more in his eyes than he ever knew falling in love again making a new best friend so it goes so it goes ‘til then…

about

"Exchange" is Emily's 5th self-produced album of uncategorizable, emotionally compelling music. If this is a jazz vocal album, then her musical references are an elusive, moving target, suggesting as much early 70’s electric fusion as tin-pan alley.

If this is a classical vocal album, analyzing whether it is post-post-minimalism or pre-pre-Schoenberg is a hard study. And if it is Art-Rock, well then you’ll have to find some room on the shelf between Hatfield and the North and Kate Bush’s early albums, but that won’t quite be the right spot either.

Emily's 2008 interview about "Exchange" with Beppe Colli:
www.cloudsandclocks.net/interviews/Bezar_interview08.html

credits

released July 31, 2008

Written and Produced by Emily Bezar
all music and lyrics ©2008, Blue Countess Music, BMI

Emily Bezar: voice, keyboards, string and horn arrangements except all violin parts on "Winter Moon", improvised by Alan Lin
Dan Feiszli: electric and acoustic basses
Mark Bernfield: drums
Michael Ross: guitar
Phillip Greenlief: soprano, alto and tenor saxophones
Chris Grady: trumpet
Jen Baker: trombone
Alan Lin: violin
Beth Vandervennet: 'cello

Recorded and Mixed by Justin Phelps
with additional recording by Scott McDowell and Emily Bezar
assisted by Laura Dean and Heidi Hansen
at Hyde St. Studio C and Tiny Telephone Studios,
San Francisco, Prairie Sun Studios, Cotati, CA
and Big Tree Studio, Oakland, CA

Mastered by Bernie Grundman
assisted by Joe Bozzi

Album Cover image by Emily's great uncle Ernest Freed (1908-1974), "Divina Commedia #4", 1969 (intaglio print detail, 18"x22")
Used by permission of the family.

Photography by Rory Earnshaw
Makeup by Renee Rael
Art Design by Emily Bezar

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Emily Bezar Roanoke, Virginia

Singer, composer and keyboardist
Emily Bezar creates intricate, uncategorizable music, drawing freely from classical, jazz, rock, pop and electronic genres to create an enchanting, dynamic sound world.

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