Angels' Abacus

by Emily Bezar

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1.
04:08
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4.
5.
05:23
6.
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8.
04:28
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10.
04:33
11.
04:58
12.
04:29
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14.
03:58
15.
05:52
16.
04:41

about

To purchase a signed CD of "Angels' Abacus" directly from Emily:
www.emilybezar.com/order.asp

With her 4th album, "Angels' Abacus," written while Emily was living in France from 2001-2003, she produced her most operatic work since her debut in 1993. This is music as architecture, as crystalline objects in time, with no agenda but its own sensual and complex beauty. Her voice, emotionally vivid but with a sheen of elegant reserve, glides and leaps over a landscape rich in electronic nuance and sparkling jazz-tinged piano. Her songs are kinetic and never languish, surging from delicate to intense, from open simplicity to opaque density, but always ravishingly melodic.

"Angels' Abacus" is a meditation on love and faith in all of their ecstasies and in their doubts. In the title track she imagines an angelic conference discussing the fate of her and her lover. "This isn't about renewal and redemption. It's about wondering if there's someone keeping score on you up there and you're just trying to cling to the next rung. It's about conscience and the gravity of decision in life and love....wondering does every action negate the last or does it all add up? And I've always been consumed by the inner struggle between my reason and my intuition. I think it's an intriguing paradox that an agent of faith, the angel, would be calculating our souls' destiny."

credits

released September 1, 2004

Written by Emily Bezar
Produced by Emily Bezar
except tracks 1, 3 and 15 produced by Emily Bezar and Tim Pettit
all music and lyrics ©2004, Blue Countess Music, BMI

Emily Bezar: vocals, piano, keyboards, string and horn arrangements, drum programming
Jon Evans: bass on Tracks 2, 4, 5, 7, 9, 10, 11, 13, 14, 16 and percussion on Track 16
Laurence Cottle: bass on Tracks 1, 3, 15
Dan Foltz: drums on Tracks 4, 5, 10, 11, 13
Ralph Salmins: drums on Tracks 1 and 15
Tim Pettit: drum programming on Tracks 1, 3, and 15
Michael Ross: guitar on Tracks 4 and 10, keyboard on Track 4
Jeff Lewis: flugelhorn on Track 4, Trumpet on Track 13
Marika Hughes: 'cello on Track 12

Recorded and Mixed by Jon Evans at San Pablo Recorders, Berkeley, assisted by Bond Bergland
except Tracks 1, 3, 15 and 16 recorded by Tim Pettit at The Bunker, Hertfordshire and at SARM East, London, England, assisted by Phill Tyreman
Tracks 1 and 3 mixed by Tim Pettit at the Bunker, Track 15 at The Chapel, Lincolnshire, assisted by Fulton Dingley.
Additional recording at Studio Marylin, Cagnes sur Mer, France, Studio Malbosquet, Vence, France and at Big Tree Studio, Oakland, CA

Mastered by Ken Lee

Portrait Photography by Christina Shook
additional photos by Emily and Eric Bezar
Art Design by Emily Bezar

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Emily Bezar Oakland, California

Singer/composer Emily Bezar creates intricate, uncategorizable music, drawing freely from classical, jazz, rock, pop and electronic genres to create an enchanting, dynamic sound world.

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Track Name: Latitude
I gave my suitcase
to the baggage man
whose leather hands remind me
that the last one
is the longest mile
I said "take me anywhere the ferry blows"
and I pulled out a smile

I was a lucky traveller
never missed the final plane
always searching for the point
where mountains meet the sea
never thought you'd show me
how broad the variation could be

you wind your latitude about me
sunshine 'round the corner of my gloom
could find pretty boys to pout me
but I rather would rather would find you

but for all the deepening lines
and necessary changes
that brought you to the deck
to smoke that last cigar
I would have wasted all my
bold, late-night exchanges on falling stars

you wind your latitude about me
sunshine 'round the corner of my gloom
could find pretty boys to pout me
but I rather would rather would find you

holy leavening, holy leavening
take away, take away all this floor
four and fiving and six and sevening
never no never no, no, no more
oh oh been out of the sun into the moon
but there's something so right
in this cocoon
you and I float the highest balloon

you wind your latitude about me
sunshine 'round the corner of my gloom
could find pretty boys to pout me
but I rather would rather would find you
Track Name: Right Back At Me
there's too much fog on this road
guess I should pull over
behind the steering wheel stowed
and I look you over

remember when, not long ago
I would stare at you so slow
now you and your memory
throw these eyes right back at me

we trained in the rules of disguise
don't know how to use them
lose all our wheres and our whys
if we never choose them

when you think about me now
do you still feel that little wow
I can hardly hear the bells
for the breaking of the spells

you and I were so good
you and I were so fine
but you know I never could
cross that shifting borderline
any how, any way I'd give it all up to stay
never never far away from you

I throw a ball in the wind
and it goes right past you
is this how we rebegin?
would you let me ask you?
Track Name: Losing The Middle
stay right there
there is an angle
that I want of you
in that little chair
you break me wide
and I never thought
I'd make it back here
to the other side

when I'm losing the middle
in the grey light
and all of my colors
blur the view
oh pretty baby don't move
hold tight
cause something's
coming into focus 'round the edge
'round the edge of you

we framed this well
you walked into my range of view
and needed someone
with something to tell
and I've been here
so many times before
if love like this is gentle rain
let it wash me off the floor

when I'm losing the middle
in the grey light
and all of my colors
blur the view
oh pretty baby don't move
hold tight
cause something's
coming into focus 'round the edge
'round the edge of you

how can I love you
the way she used you
you take me over
and I like the way
that this is wrong
I can still move through
the motions you do
I'll trace your outline
so you'll always stay
where you belong

when I'm losing the middle
in the grey light
and all of my colors
blur the view
oh pretty baby don't move
hold tight
cause something's
coming into focus 'round the edge
'round the edge of you

stay right there
Track Name: Heaven To Pay
there's snow on the roof
and blood in my wine
been a year since one truth
erased every line
and I was gone oh but never away
I carried on oh with heaven to pay

the longer you ran, the louder I fell
now I've done all I can
I know you too well
and I was gone oh but never away
I carried on like this with heaven to pay

now I'm flowers 'round the room
don't go cutting at the bloom
oh my time and your space and
colliding with you in this unbroken place...
again

I channelled way down
way down in your ear
but all that I found
was silence, my dear
Track Name: In Delay
I found the copper and the gold medallions,
parquet battlefields, their gloved battalions
but I saw everything I loved float away
swimming circles 'round my Lusitania
I see the beach but where's my cool cabana
oh will everything I love float back my way?

I don't want to stay, I don't want to stay
in delay for another day
are we gonna go, are we gonna go
out and play
or tuck the world away,
tuck the world away
in delay, in delay, in delay, in delay

for all my stall-outs and my false beginnings
I drove the bus right through
our precious winnings
oh, and sifting through the dust, I let it blow
between the desert and the violent mountains
lies the plain where I shall build my fountains
save your bottles for the grand water show

I don't want to stay, I don't want to stay
in delay for another day
are we gonna go, are we gonna go
out and play
or tuck the world away,
tuck the world away
in delay, in delay, in delay, in delay

throw down those
clouds and rainbows
we're going to find some rain
no matter how deep this spring flows
it's going my way going my way Oh

I don't want to stay, I don't want to stay
in delay for another day
are we gonna go, are we gonna go
out and play
or tuck the world away,
tuck the world away
in delay, in delay, in delay, in delay
Track Name: Escaliers Des Penitants
(English translation)
Oh come climb these stairs,
let’s climb these stairs....
Track Name: Angels' Abacus
down here in the mud again
grey sludge, every acorn we gather
by morning will be frozen with dew again
your blue Mars, with his feathers
came bruising through
and the mountains all recharged
giant battery, burnt out on me and you

and oh they're talking 'bout
talking 'bout us
and oh what did we do
to deserve all this fuss
and oh let's give them more
something more to count and discuss
on the angels' abacus

(English translation)
the light here is your candles in full color
I put them out and the smoke disappears
like the traces of my heart
you will enjoy a puppet in the fog
and me, I will sing with the melodies of my noisy skies

oh we will talk with these angels
oh one beautiful day
you will take away all my lies
oh my love, climb with me on these steps
climb with me......
Track Name: Scirocco
boys with their bubbles, a llama
the hillside shudders with each plane
that batters the sky
trees bear no fruit here
the fragrant primeval passed by
ladders hung out on the hazy horizon
floating like Corsica somewhere in time
sail me away from this grey pantomime

blue the afternoon
the straw in the breezes
the shapely, elegant
and crazy wives
drain back to white
when all the color freezes
someone smoke the bees
out of their hives

he said "no one will wait
if you stop your believing,
they'll leave you to soak in
your salt and your brine"
well I gave him the last branch
but the last winter olive is mine

blue the afternoon
the straw in the breezes
the shapely, elegant
and crazy wives
drain back to white
when all the color freezes
someone smoke the bees
out of their hives

and oh I feel you
now and then with my
shadow hand
oh our hourglass waits
for rain to bring
new sand
Track Name: Continental Slide
the red road dust slowly floats away
I can still see your metallic grey
oh God, don't let me forget this day
like steady free agents and sticky bees
we plan our revival with chains and thieves
some of us grow here on our knees
like weeds

we're two lines, broken in the tracks
up to Rotterdam
we're old vines and I'm the wood
you cut away
you may find
someone new to love you
for these ending times
but no matter how far this continent slides
nothing can swallow what it divides
we are in for a long long long ride

I remember summer turning into fall
but what you said before you left,
I can't recall
strange how the radio static played
through it all
of all the things you are
you are in way too deep
and I am like a broker
trading dreams for cheap
they say we are made of the give-away
not the keep

we're two lines, broken in the tracks
up to Rotterdam
we're old vines and I'm the wood
you cut away
you may find
someone new to love you
for these ending times
but no matter how far this continent slides
nothing can swallow what it divides
we are in for a long long long ride
Track Name: Bruno
Bruno, won't you make a coin
from the copper mines in your head
Bruno, won't you throw a stone
o'er the barricade 'round your bed
never no, never never no
never, no no
never no, never never no,
never let me go

Bruno, there was a time
when he heard every word I said
Bruno, what do I do now?
doesn't say in these books I've read
never no, never never no
never, no no
never no, never never no,
never let me go

oh you're running too fast
are you running away?
oh say that you'll only
go half way today
oh I want you to stay
yeah I want you to go
I want you to love me
I want you to know

what if we don't like the changes
and everything they say comes true?
whatever it rearranges...
I could not take, I could not take
I could not take my eyes off you

Bruno, yeah talk is cheap
still they're cutting rates every day
Bruno, even bartered feet
still slip into God some way
Track Name: In My Sky
beneath the linen and the lidocaine
between the rosewater and the stain
there is a little piece of frozen pain, like mine
behind the rumour and the backroom shake
beside the Countess and her grand mistake
there is little piece of cold heartache, like mine

and I am bracing for the worst
and I am ball and chain
you never asked me for my curse
you never asked my name
oh love oh love all of this shame
and I don't remember why
Lucy showed up in my sky
will someone please tell me
why she came

and all the wretched games
he watched me play
I counted on every card
to make him stay
I never loved anyone quite that way,
that time

and I am bracing for the worst
and I am ball and chain
you never asked me for my curse
you never asked my name
oh love oh love all of this shame
and I don't remember why
Lucy showed up in my sky
will someone please tell me
why she came

guarding, guarding the long afternoon
they came to take me none too soon

I hope every moment
that we bargain for
becomes an hour
before that golden door
I never wanted anything more
than time

and I am bracing for the worst
and I am ball and chain
you never asked me for my curse
you never asked my name
oh love oh love all of this shame
and I don't remember why
Lucy showed up in my sky
will someone please tell me
why she came
Track Name: Suncrash
every card to my right, it blazes
numerology found me a friend
every stone in my path, it arranges
for another beguiling dead end

oh my love in a matter of time
I'll be gone again
off running my races
if you promise to put up a fight
I might stay 'til then
'cause this is what grace is

sun crash on my jagged horizon
bullet breeze, metal metal machine
share my poison but leave me the residue
your sin is safe with me

oh my love in a matter of time
I'll be gone again
off running my races
if you promise to put up a fight
I might stay 'til then
'cause this is what grace is
and I like your chases

I dreamed of a park
near a mountain in China
and you and I nearing
the border at sunset
and all of the world was a
bold purple line around me

these days I feel broken apart
oh but I've a palm tree in my head
it begins to sway
I am nothing if not a believer but you
for you I doubted my faith away

oh my love in a matter of time
I'll be gone again
off running my races
if you promise to put up a fight
I might stay 'til then
this is what grace is
and I like your chases
Track Name: Walk That Blade
borderlines, those border days
your boot-camp baby took it many ways
she used to be something
that you could share
but then you got a count
on those candle burns
and revelation, how fast it turns
be careful how long you stare

butterfly and renegade
it looks like love made a pretty fair trade
but somebody overpaid
you wanna make it clean
you know you could
but she likes you better misunderstood
and the way that you walk that blade

you steady come to the steady flow
of the brou-ha-ha of life's wicked go-go
she's watching you play by play
it isn't style if it doesn't fight
so you better hold on to your rudder tonight
or she'll float you a long long way

butterfly and renegade
it looks like love made a pretty fair trade
but somebody overpaid
you wanna make it clean
you know you could
but she likes you better misunderstood
and the way that you walk that blade

and this time she's giving you a lucky break
that's what it takes to love you
just like you to come around
and up the stakes again
all those closings on those empty stages
you could buy the house out with your
bottle wages, these bottle wages

butterfly and renegade
it looks like love made a pretty fair trade
butterfly and renegade
it looks like love is made in the shade
walk that blade
walk that beautiful blade
gonna walk that blade
walk that beautiful blade
Track Name: Cast In Ice
daylight hours paint the forest
silver white
we're frozen lovers
watching branches wake
like melting chandeliers

down you go in the new snow
you may never know
why she chose to freeze you so
but radiant radiant radiant baby
your eyes are fire
your love, God shade me
and I might, might, might maybe
get cast in ice with you

and when the Spring is here
can't we just sleep another year?
two more sighs suspended
in one Winter day
though it may be the wrong place
wrong time I know that you
will keep me warm this way

down you go in the new snow
you may never know
why she chose to freeze you so
but radiant radiant radiant baby
your eyes are fire
your love, God shade me
and I might, might, might maybe
get cast in ice with you
Track Name: Metronome
brainscan, accelerate me
move the water in my head
and drown the fire
I've made plans to federate me
I've got a deep central address
and a long long wire
I left him so much skin
for my burning tires

geothermal aesthete
with a new pavilion
for my carolling
sceptor of a queen
who lost her scream
now stokes her empire
smoldering
mark the ground
I'm going down
when it's soft in spring

in my tunes I always
knew when to play
we moved in time
oh til he slipped that day
this metronome
is more than one beat
more than one beat away

keep moving, escape me
if you slow one
I'll speed up by ten
signs on this freeway
will lead you safe
far from where we were then
wheels and lace
in fitful grace
til it rips again

ah you stayed
you are my love
yeah I was afraid of time....
Track Name: Night Boats
there is something wrong
this old pinocchio nose
has grown a league or two
and the big whale's mouth is closed
I was always strong
could never be undersold
kept my eyes, ever so high
ever so cold

days are shorter now
my motherland is locked down
across the ocean
I smell a burning town
now I know fear
and it has no metaphor
all my lines losing their
rhymes as you head for the door

before you go
don't make me a lonely pine
low water line
if I shame you so
remember the morning tide
is long where the night boats row